Snow
“Remind me again what I’m doing here?” I asked myself that question this morning as I saw my reflection when I straightened my rear view mirror. The light is green but there’s a longer delay as cars try to step on the accelerator but the wheels just spin in place. The cars would hardly budge on slick ice.
The snowstorm came in early afternoon yesterday and didn’t let up overnight. I woke up this morning with at least 6 inches of snow in the driveway. So I donned my gloves and jacket and braced for brisk air to slap my face. This is crazy, I’m already running late because I slept through my stupid alarm, then I have to scrape ice from my windshield which will take me a good 5 minutes. Haaay!
Back to my original question. So what the heck am I doing here? Well, for one, I need to get my ass in the office, like the rest of those drivers out there on the road with me. But the question was meant to be a philosophical one and which I’ve been trying to wrestle since I got here in the States. I have a long-winding answer to this but ultimately, my answer led me to point a finger at the state of affairs of my country - the Philippines.
I would have stayed happily in my low-income but high profile job in Holy Angel University but I have my two kids to think of. Granted that my husband and I will be able to get them through college, who knows what life waits for them after graduation. I can picture Nikki and Goji, fresh out of college from UP but waiting in a crowded room full of fresh grads like themselves vying for a call center agent position in Quezon City. Nope, na-ah, so NOT going to happen.
So my modus operandi is to stay where I am, endure driving in the snow to get to work and sleeping through sub-zero nights (unless I want to turn the heater way up and get a heart attack when I get my heating bill) so we can get the much-coveted US Citizenship and the Blue Passport. Then my kids will have the luxury of choice when they grow up if they want to stay here in the US with financial security or go home in the Philippines where they may have to work double time to get a tenth of what they could earn here but still be happy because they’re right where they want to be - Home.
