Toast
It’s been ages since my last post. Honestly, I just fell into this deep abyss of indifference. Actually it’s more like switching off… I’ve lived the last few months in auto-pilot mode. I don’t know why, really. It was never a conscious decision. I think it was more of a primal instinct. Don’t think so you don’t worry. Don’t care so you don’t get hurt. That kind.
But I’ve received so many wonderful emails from friends I have not seen in almost 20 years. They reached out to me because my posts touched their hearts. They understand because they go through similar things too. Who knew my ramblings actually make sense to someone else? Most of them also reminded me about the Kaye they know from more than two decades ago. (okay, I feel very dated now by saying that). And that brought me back from whatever dark place I’ve retreated into.
Let me explain.
I realized that I got so busy trying to grow up. When I left college, I was extremely frightened. Will I ever make it? Has my education prepared me for life? The people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had over the years have shaped me to who and what I am today. But in that same process we call living; I forgot who I was when life was still uncomplicated.
And then my past comes back to me.
My friends, my buddies who made my childhood and teenage life so full, tell me how they remember me and I am touched. They know me through the core. The layers of masks I’ve put on over the years mean nothing to them. To them, I am this and that. Mostly good things. They describe someone I only vaguely remember. But their memories encourage me. If that were my eulogy, I would be beaming wide from wherever I am (maybe even give them “soulful” hugs). I thank you all, you know who you are. This post is a toast to you!
Okay life, give me what you got!
